Still the one

Joanne Wilson and Janine Sesa

The Milford couple has been together since their first date in May 1988, long before they were legally able to wed.

What was your first date?

Joanne: We went to a craft fair in New Paltz, and we count that as our very first time together. Because we were not able to be married, we decided that we would count that as our anniversary of our time together. We had a 20-year celebration of commitment and when gay marriage became legal in 2011, we got married on Dec. 3.

Janine: But we met before that. We met in Middletown and we played softball on the recreational women’s softball team and that’s how we became friends.

What’s your favorite memory from the last 35 years?

Janine: The commitment ceremony? That’s a huge, huge memory - just (as is) all the time that we just laughed together. You know that’s very enriching.

Joanne: She ... digs in for the family and all the crisis moments. It’s not really a favorite memory because who wants to think about the crisis moments, but they’re so meaningful because she’s right there. I went through a serious cancer, and she was right there. She’s really made it tolerable.

What is it about your spouse that you love most?

Joanne: Jeanine is very warm and kind and loving and she exudes that from the way she behaves. Just this steadiness about her like calmness and a great sense of life. That’s what she expresses and that is very important to me. It helps me to feel close to her.

Janine: Joanne has a lot of wonderful attributes, but really, she’s true. If you’re her friend, she will run through fire for you...and it’s just amazing. I always know that I can count on her. She doesn’t give up on us, ever.

How do you handle conflict?

Joanne: I think that compromise is a really important factor in a long-term relationship. You can’t stand your ground and then expect not to have difficulties. If something is not so important, then you gotta let it go.

Janine: It’s not worth keeping a conflict in your relationship if it’s a small thing, and if it’s a bigger thing, then we have to talk it out a little bit more, but we find that we have a lot of shared values.

Joanne: There are a lot of the same values about things we care about. We care about taking care of each other, taking care of our family and that closeness kind of makes it important. Take life and move through it.

Janine: The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever with anybody. As both people are willing to nurture the life you’ve built together then you stick with it.

What is it about your relationship that makes it special?

Janine: We really enjoyed each other’s company, so we share things that we enjoy together.

Maryann and Steve Denny

The Milford couple married in June 1974, just a few years after they began working together.

How did you meet?

Maryann: He was the new kid that lived up the block. We met formally when we worked in a grocery store together. I would say it would be June of ’72.

Steven: She went to local high school. I went to a Catholic High School a few towns over.

Maryann: He proposed to me in Macy’s because that was our favorite store. I’ll be sad if it closes.

Steven: I worked at the bank at the time and the local jewelry store (was) in that mall. I was talking to the guy one day and he said “I got a gorgeous ring just came out.” So, I bought the ring before I asked her. I was pretty sure of myself.

Do you have a favorite moment from your wedding day?

Steven: Getting married – that’s my favorite moment. It was very hot and it was windy when she was trying to get pictures taken.

Maryann: And it had rained in the night before. I though “Oh no. What’s going to show up because of the rain?” But it was fine.

Steve: I always get up early so I get up very early on that day and I get up before my parents were up and it and I went out. I went out, had breakfast. I went to the mall to buy some shoes or something. Then I went over to my friend’s house. We were playing ping pong and my parents were freaking out.

Maryann: They couldn’t find him. And his mother didn’t want to tell me they couldn’t find him.

Steven: But I was like “I got a while.”

What is your favorite memory from the past 52 years?

Steven: Seeing her every morning when I wake up. I have a lot of physical problems. I’ve had five hip replacements and back surgeries, so she’s my nurse. I don’t like to be too far away.

Maryann: He makes me laugh every day. That makes me happy.

How have you faced challenges together?

Maryann: Raising our two daughters, that was a challenge – but my eldest is a doctor and my youngest is a teacher. They were good kids.

Steve: We did pretty good there, I think.

How do you deal with conflict when it inevitably arises?

Maryann: You can’t fix it if you don’t talk about it. The more you sit down and talk about it, the more you work it out. The funny thing is, the older we get, problems seem a lot less, you know?

Steve: It’s not that it’s not that important, either.

Maryann: For the most part, nothing is too terrible to work out.

What is it about your spouse that you love the most?

Steve: She’s a nice person and nice to everybody. Sometimes that’s a bad quality because she’s too nice. She worries about what everybody else thinks all the time and I’m like, “Who cares?”

Maryann: Like I said, he makes me laugh sometimes. It’s funny (when) he doesn’t have his hearing aids in. I’ll come in and say something to him and it’s totally off the wall. His response is funny.

Steve: I say one thing, then you say this.

Maryann: And it’s funny, I think. That’s what gets us through. We laugh and he loves me. That’s what matters.

Steve: She’s the best person I’ve ever met.